31 Thoughts I, An Idiot American, Had While Watching German "Bachelorette"

Hi all! My name is Michelle and I'm a BuzzFeed writer from NYC, currently living in Berlin. Since arriving, I've been hearing a lot about how popular The Bachelorette is here (as it is back home), so I thought it'd be interesting to try and...

31 Thoughts I, An Idiot American, Had While Watching German

Hi all! My name is Michelle and I'm a BuzzFeed writer from NYC, currently living in Berlin. Since arriving, I've been hearing a lot about how popular The Bachelorette is here (as it is back home), so I thought it'd be interesting to try and watch the first episode with my nonexistent German skills.

And by the way, I've never seen the American Bachelorette either.

1. I understand enough German to know that "Die" is an article, but reading this title with my American brain is a really jarring way to start the show.

RTL

I know it's not a horror movie called "Die, Bachelorette!", but that's where my mind went, ok?!

2. Her name is Gerda, and she's a huge influencer in Germany.

Okay, we're moving on to the male intros.

3. Fabiano looks like a gentleman in the streets, a freak in the sheets, and a yoga teacher in that one Friedrichshain studio with free tea.

4. Fabio looks like he just got done with a good, long cry.

RTL

He's probably the most emotionally healthy out of all of 'em.

5. Jonas' most indulgent purchase last year was a top-of-the-line hairdryer.

6. My study abroad expectation:

7. My study abroad reality:

More intros!

8. We get it, YOU VAPE!

9. Is it me or is there something just so wholesome about these dudes? Just look at those smiles! They make me feel like a baby being cooed at.

10. Thank you Bachelorette, for this display of gentle masculinity and for being so progressive.

11. Side note: My favorite German phrase in this show and country so far is: “So,” pronounced “Zo.” Everyone says it. It’s their version of the American, “All rightie then!!

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